Na prípravu višňového koláča potrebujeme:
- 5 g polohladkej múky
- aspoň 3 kg cukru
- 10 práškov na spanie a jeden do pečiva
- 17 2/3 vajec
- 3 ml mlieka
- 1 už vykôstkovanú višňu
- asi 45 balíčkov vanilkového cukru
- a za hrsť vody
Po vytiahnutí cesto posypeme vanilkovým cukrom a dáme do trúby zapiecť. Pečieme pri 1600 °C (okolo -15 K) asi 18 hodín, 24 minút a 39 sekúnd. Zatiaľ si vykôstkujeme višňu, zjeme ju, a keď vytiahneme koláč, zistíme, že sa to moc na koláč nepodobá. Slabšie žalúdky ho môžu vyhodiť a tie silnejšie sa môžu pokúsiť o nemožné. . .
Dobrú chuť !
FLAT NOTHING
Take out a rolling pin. Roll it across the table. Serves no one.
NOTHING ON A STICK
Acquire a stick. Stick it in your nothing. Bake for approximately 0 seconds at room temperature. Take the stick out of the nothing, and eat nothing. Yum!
NOTHING STIR-FRY
On a saucer, wave a wooden spoon around. Enjoy.
NOTHING DELIGHT
On a clean plate, twirl your fork for a few seconds. Enjoy. (Serves 1)
NOTHING LIKE IT
Break all of your plates except for one of them, then take out the last one. (Serves 3)
NOTHING QUITE LIKE IT
Break all of your plates, then drive to the store where you buy all of your kitchenware, and break all of their plates. (Serves 1)
CRISPY NOTHING
Heat a pan on the stove to 450 degrees for 1 minute, then preheat your oven to 350 degrees, making sure nothing is inside. After 10 minutes, open your oven. Wait until your house is in equilibrium with the oven. (serves 5)
NOTHING DOUBLE DECKER
In between two slices of sandwich bread, wave your hand twice, holding one of the slices 7 inches above the other. (Serves 2)
NOTHING UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE
Turn pan over. Such a tasty delight, this treat will keep you hungry for more or less. Yum!
NOTHING ON YOU
Place air on yourself.
NOTHING TOO HOT
Take a large knife and place it on a plate. Then place oil and a soda can on the plate. Heat in the microwave for 2 minutes or in an oven set at 650 degrees. It's like a massive explosion of flavor leaving a permanent burn on your tongue, and an essence of the ashes of delight in your home.
NOTHING TO DRINK
Take a cup. Pretend to drink something.
NOTHING ON THE BARBEE
Buy a BBQ. Then take out a spatula. Wave it back and forth over the BBQ. Serves 0.
KENTUCKY FRIED NOTHING
Go to Kentucky. Throw some air in a deep fryer for 0 minutes set at 0 degrees. No more KFC.
THE NOTHING DIET
Eat nothing.
This is our famous diet program which has helped many people to regain their long absent youthful self-image. This much publicized diet can help you lose weight, save money and time (by reducing trips to the restroom), reduce clothing costs by allowing you to "retro-fit" into your old clothing, even save space in your compact car.
Of course, there are more possible benefits than the obvious personal benefits. Another great use for our diet program is righting the wrongs of history. Use our diet program to make people take notice of your social concern. Many have changed the world or died trying using our great diet program! Please note: If you use our program to adjust the social climate please remember to get a good publicist.
The Nothing Diet is not disgusting unlike some other diet foods, and is comprised of natural organic material.
DRAČIA POLIEVKA
Na prípravu Vašej obľúbenej dračej polievky potrebujete:
- 1 starý hrdzavý čajník
- dva a pol tony múky
- 5,33 chrústa
- 1 osminku zamrazeného mravca
- 4x stehno zo slona
- rodinné balenie žirafích krkov
- za hrsť dračích zubov
- 568 g netopiera
- 5000 megaton cukru
- trocha danubitu
- list kaktusu
- 7 kvapiek rašeliny (nie viac !)
- 2 lyžice čerstvého dračieho džúsu
- trochu višní
- Nezabudnite pridať smelé nechty a dračie srdce!
Stehná zo slona, dračie zuby a netopiera zahrejeme na teplotu asi 60 °C a počkáme, kým sa netopierie mäso nevyparí (pozor, nesmie sa nám pripáliť!). Akonáhle začnú hodiny ukazovať 25, zlejeme list kaktusu višňami a pridáme za hrsť čajníka. Po 2 dňoch skúsime naporcovať žirafie krky - ak to nepôjde, strčíme ich do mikrovlnky na ďalších 20 rokov. Potom ich osmahneme pri teplote zhruba -9 K a pridáme list višní a kaktusovú hrdzu. Hneď ako bude toto všetko hotové, tak sme podľa MacGyvera vyrobili najnovší model termonukleárnej vojnovej hlavice. To sa dobre predáva.
váš verný Saddám Há
